Skip to main content

In Memoriam


Lida Marr Barrett


Born in San Antonio on September 22, 1920, Lida Marr Boyd moved with her parents and sister to Anson where her father settled a ranch. She married Charles Barrett in 1940 and gave birth to Sassy Barrett on December 30, 1954. She attended college in Abilene and received her teaching certification in 1964. She taught elementary school for 40 years in Abilene, Hurst, and finally in Dallas. She retired at the end of the Spring 2005 term. She passed away in her sleep the morning of Saturday August 20.

She was my grandmother. The only one I ever knew. When my mother left my father in 1984, my grandmother, "Dabaw," stepped in and helped my mother and I escape from a dangerous situation. Working not only as a teacher but for 15 years as a customer service rep at Wal-Mart on the weekends, she supported us through my mother's college education and later, supported me through my own. Without her help, love, and support, I would not be where I am today.

She was loved by not only her family, but by everyone who ever had contact with her. Her forthrightness, generosity of spirit, and all around stubbornness endeared her to all in her presence. Her coworkers, students, and friends loved her nearly as much as her own family. A testimony to her popularity, she had collected momentos given to her by former students as well as students whom she had taught in their sixth grade year keeping in touch with her as adults. She was an inspiration to everyone her life touched.

When I was seventeen, I came out to my family. I was most afraid of how she would take the news. I had assumed that being older and thus more conservative, she would not take the news well. I was so entirely wrong about her. She accepted me wholly and loved me unconditionally. It was then that I began to realize she was a complex human being with far more facets of personality than I had ever even suspected.

The plight of the grandchild is that, as children we see our grandparents as merely grandparents, it isn't until we are adults that we see them as whole human beings whom we'd like to know more personally, often when it is too late to do so. I was fortunate in that I got to know her more in the last two years than I did my entire life before that. Unfortunately, I still had so much to learn from her.

I will, as will everyone who knew her, miss her terribly.

I love you, Dabaw.
Though your light extinguished,
your love warms eternal.



And thank you everyone for your words of support and condolences. They are truly appreciated.

Comments

The Megan said…
What a special memorial to your grandmother, James... you've got me sniff sniffing up here at work!!
I totally know what you mean about not really getting to see your grandparents for the people they are until you are an adult (or, at least, seeing them completely differently then), and how that time is all to often much too short.
The thing that helps me personally is knowing that I did have my grandparents for so long, and I have such a wonderful memory of them that will never be forgotten. Hopefully, knowing that can help you too during this tough time.
I'll say it again. You know we all love you and are here for you if there is anything you need!! Talk to you soon!

Popular posts from this blog

UPDATE TO PREVIOUS POST

Tim's flight went smoothly and he is now in Arkansas. My day feels hollow without being able to IM him. Still no word on exactly when he'll be back--either Friday night or Saturday morning/afternoon. Oh, and add that supreme bitch, Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) to the list of modern-era senators refusing to cosponser the anti-lynching measure. I have also added her to my litany of reasons for truly despising this fucktard state in which I live. MEMO TO THE GOP: Your true (lack of) colors are showing. Smarmy sanctimonious bastards.

I See a Bad Mood Rising

Two things: Tim's Leaving For Arkansas for 3 or 4 days I HATE TEXAS--yes, it's official now Item the first, Tim is leaving for AR, again. I understand why he's going, and I'm not upset about that. I just hate having him gone. I can't sleep, I pace the apartment, I develop a bad case of OCD, even the cats go a little crazy. We all go a little crazy. I will miss him madly. As for Texas, wouldn't you know, with all the vitriol that has shamed this state for so many years now, Senator Cornyn has shamed us further by refusing to sign on to the anti-lynching bill currently in the U. S. Senate. Maybe he's afraid some activist judge would use it as an excuse to legislate from the bench and outlaw lynching the fags, too. I hate Texas. I hate being without Tim. It is going to be a challenging few days ahead.