I'm Baaaack!

Just in case you were wondering, no, I haven't completely abandoned my blog. A lot has happened since my last post (as many of you already know). New job, new house, new Timmy car--the last two of which has happened since about November 15th. Crazy, ain't it? So yeah, still loving the new job. Tim's new car is supersweet, and have I mentioned we bought a house? It, too, is quite nice.

So in the spirit of old, I give you this week's quirky news items.

Noklone oom-e? Foo khyou!
A Korean scientist was shamed--deeply shamed--when it was discovered that the stem-cell research breakthroughs he had reported making last year was all a big fat lie. The cloned embryo was actually made the old-fashioned way with one of his interns. Former Pres. Clinton was quoted as saying, "At least all I ever did was lie about getting a b*****b!"

Bush Still Clueless
Need I say more?

Mummy Dearest
The mummified remains of a 61 year-old woman were found seated in a chair, watching TV in her bedroom. Her caretaker said that the woman didn't want to be interred, so she just cranked the A/C and left the TV on for her . . . for the past 2 1/2 years. The A/C unit crashed a few weeks ago and the corpse began, well, stinking up the neighborhood. When one of the decedent’s friends finally remembered the number for 9-1-1, she called police to tell them she had not seen or heard from her in a couple of years. When police went to perform a welfare check of the woman, they noticed the odor and discovered its source. EEWWWWW. Living on the first floor of the house was the dead woman's daughter, granddaughter, and her former caregiver. The woman's daughter was reported as saying upon the officer's discovery, "I wondered why momma wouldn't never come down fer supper. Don't that beat all?"


Glutton for Punishment: Chevy Camaro Concept Unveiled
GM flaunted it's concept for what may or may not be the possible reincarnation of its mullet-beloved Camaro for 2009. Proving once again that GM is no fool when it comes to ripping off the competition, not only does the concept follow in the footsteps of the Ford Mustang's retro-modernist design approach, it also looked suspiciously like the New Dodge Challenger, all of which harks back to the copycat nature of the Camaro's first introduction in 1967, when it looked like a Mustang in Chevy badges. The GM CEO was quoted as saying, "Look at my bitchin' camaro!" before flipping his mullet and downing his forty.

Dodge Concept Vehicle Missing, Then Found
Dodge reported the strange disappearance of their Challenger concept vehicle just weeks before the Detroit Auto Show. Luckily, the vehicle was found in an alley in Flint, Michigan, trembling and muttering to itself, "They call it a camaro, but it's not a camaro, they call it a camaro, but it's not a camaro."

NEWS FLASH: CORRUPTION ON CAPITOL HILL
Washington went all a-tremble when high-powered lobbyist Jack Abramoff plead guilty to fraud and tax evasion and promised to point fingers at as many as 60 high-powered Senators, Representatives, and prominent staffers in the House, Senate, and White House in return for a lighter sentence. Liberal bloggers everywhere are piddling themselves in sweet anticipation of the "naming of names." Conservatives are just plain piddling themselves. Former Pres. Clinton was quoted as saying, "At least all I ever did was get a b*****b!"

Cheers-thanksalot!