. . . but I have to say it even though I know I am going to catch flack for it. I don't care, bring it on. Something hit me this evening, and it occurred when I had what I believe is very possibly the last conversation I'll ever have with a quasi-old friend who is currently residing in Australia.
We were having a very pleasant conversation via AOL-IM, discussing school, careers, etc. Then the conversation turned to politics and I understand why Tim doesn't approve of political discussion with friends, especially nowadays. He told me he was "pro-Bush" and I responded with "I have to go now". I was actually half-kidding, but when he replied "ok, bye", I realized I shouldn't have been. Maybe it was because I am exhausted from trying to change people's minds, or maybe I'm just tired of the whole election thing, period. However, at that moment I discovered a flaw in that friendship so big that it made maintaining the friendship any further futile. So I closed my Instant Messenger without another word.
That whole two minute scenario got me to seriously thinking. The whole issue with the Dubya hating us gays has galvanized us to such an extreme that, anyone who knows us and claims to care for us, who still supports that person, immediately becomes suspect in our eyes and more than just a little untrustworthy. It is such an explosive topic that anyone we know on the wrong side of it could quickly find themselves on our ex-acquaintance/friend/family-member list. To tell us you love us but still support the very man who would only love to see us run to Canada, jail, or worse is equivalent to hypocrisy.
Now for the even more controversial part. I, personally, think I must know what it felt like for a Jewish person living in pre-concentration camp Nazi Germany--who knew the worst was about descend upon all Jews at any moment--to have a long-time, non-Jewish friend say s/he cares about me, but who at the same time supports the virulently anti-Semitic Hitler. It quite simply is that black and white for me. Or, actually, it's not a much different situation than gays experienced in Nazi Germany. Gays suffered just as much, if not just a little more, at the hands of fascists as the Jews did. I say a little more because even at war's end, we were still viewed as criminals by the liberating Allies. The Jews had Isreal returned, we were returned to more prison camps.
Until the Supreme Court struck down the homophobic sodomy laws last year, not much had changed since those dark days in Nazi Germany for gay men and women; we were still viewed as criminals equally by fascists and supposed-progressives, subject to incarceration for simply being us. It's the one thing communists, capitalists, fascists, and socialists have all historically had in common besides corruption: hatred for all things homosexual. Now, since the likes of Bush can't criminalize us anymore, they'll just try to take away the one thing standing between us and full equality in the eyes of the law and society, our families and security by amending the constitution in such a way as to permanently reduce us to second-class citizenship.
To tell us you care for us while supporting the current president is to carry a double-standard that I simply will not tolerate any longer. To tell us that you support us at the same time as you support George W. Bush is tantamount to telling a Jew that you support her while you support Adolf Hitler.
Don't even joke about your vote for Bush cancelling one of our votes for Kerry, because it is enough to send me over the edge. It isn't a funny topic to me. When it comes to Tim's and my freedom, levity about taking that freedom away has no place. So don't even go there. I have lost my sense of humor about it. You may as well make slavery jokes to an African-American as make jokes about supporting anyone pushing the FMA (Federal Marriage Amendment).
Don't try telling us you only support his other policies, but you disagree with that pesky little FMA. Do you want to know why? Because that tells me your fiscal ideologies are worth more to you than your humanity. It says that you're willing to sell me up the river for a tax-break. We are either worth more to you than money or not, you can't have it both ways.
Finally, don't try telling me I can't equate the current plight of gay Americans with the plight of African-Americans or Jews, because I can for one very simple reason: it is about freedom from tyranny and oppression. Homosexuals have suffered just as much persecution and heinous acts as any other oppressed group of people--often times right alongside them. There have always been gay men and women who supported other oppressed groups even though those same groups have either outright refused to, or only reluctantly supported our right to freedom and equality. We're here, we're human, get used to it. Either you see us as humans, or you demean us as subhuman.
If this sounds like an ultimatum to anyone, then maybe it should. I love all our friends dearly and unconditionally--Republican or Democrat--but I love my freedom to love Tim and my unimpeded ability to build a life together with with him without fear of reprisal above everything and everyone else. On that I will never concede or compromise.
We were having a very pleasant conversation via AOL-IM, discussing school, careers, etc. Then the conversation turned to politics and I understand why Tim doesn't approve of political discussion with friends, especially nowadays. He told me he was "pro-Bush" and I responded with "I have to go now". I was actually half-kidding, but when he replied "ok, bye", I realized I shouldn't have been. Maybe it was because I am exhausted from trying to change people's minds, or maybe I'm just tired of the whole election thing, period. However, at that moment I discovered a flaw in that friendship so big that it made maintaining the friendship any further futile. So I closed my Instant Messenger without another word.
That whole two minute scenario got me to seriously thinking. The whole issue with the Dubya hating us gays has galvanized us to such an extreme that, anyone who knows us and claims to care for us, who still supports that person, immediately becomes suspect in our eyes and more than just a little untrustworthy. It is such an explosive topic that anyone we know on the wrong side of it could quickly find themselves on our ex-acquaintance/friend/family-member list. To tell us you love us but still support the very man who would only love to see us run to Canada, jail, or worse is equivalent to hypocrisy.
Now for the even more controversial part. I, personally, think I must know what it felt like for a Jewish person living in pre-concentration camp Nazi Germany--who knew the worst was about descend upon all Jews at any moment--to have a long-time, non-Jewish friend say s/he cares about me, but who at the same time supports the virulently anti-Semitic Hitler. It quite simply is that black and white for me. Or, actually, it's not a much different situation than gays experienced in Nazi Germany. Gays suffered just as much, if not just a little more, at the hands of fascists as the Jews did. I say a little more because even at war's end, we were still viewed as criminals by the liberating Allies. The Jews had Isreal returned, we were returned to more prison camps.
Until the Supreme Court struck down the homophobic sodomy laws last year, not much had changed since those dark days in Nazi Germany for gay men and women; we were still viewed as criminals equally by fascists and supposed-progressives, subject to incarceration for simply being us. It's the one thing communists, capitalists, fascists, and socialists have all historically had in common besides corruption: hatred for all things homosexual. Now, since the likes of Bush can't criminalize us anymore, they'll just try to take away the one thing standing between us and full equality in the eyes of the law and society, our families and security by amending the constitution in such a way as to permanently reduce us to second-class citizenship.
To tell us you care for us while supporting the current president is to carry a double-standard that I simply will not tolerate any longer. To tell us that you support us at the same time as you support George W. Bush is tantamount to telling a Jew that you support her while you support Adolf Hitler.
Don't even joke about your vote for Bush cancelling one of our votes for Kerry, because it is enough to send me over the edge. It isn't a funny topic to me. When it comes to Tim's and my freedom, levity about taking that freedom away has no place. So don't even go there. I have lost my sense of humor about it. You may as well make slavery jokes to an African-American as make jokes about supporting anyone pushing the FMA (Federal Marriage Amendment).
Don't try telling us you only support his other policies, but you disagree with that pesky little FMA. Do you want to know why? Because that tells me your fiscal ideologies are worth more to you than your humanity. It says that you're willing to sell me up the river for a tax-break. We are either worth more to you than money or not, you can't have it both ways.
Finally, don't try telling me I can't equate the current plight of gay Americans with the plight of African-Americans or Jews, because I can for one very simple reason: it is about freedom from tyranny and oppression. Homosexuals have suffered just as much persecution and heinous acts as any other oppressed group of people--often times right alongside them. There have always been gay men and women who supported other oppressed groups even though those same groups have either outright refused to, or only reluctantly supported our right to freedom and equality. We're here, we're human, get used to it. Either you see us as humans, or you demean us as subhuman.
If this sounds like an ultimatum to anyone, then maybe it should. I love all our friends dearly and unconditionally--Republican or Democrat--but I love my freedom to love Tim and my unimpeded ability to build a life together with with him without fear of reprisal above everything and everyone else. On that I will never concede or compromise.
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