Modern Lives

Those of you experiencing the same senioritis I am should appreciate/identify with this one. Class Can’t focus Mind is reeling… Here we go, Another class discussion I know nothing about. Time to sound elegant, Oh so intelligent While my mind swims Off like a trout. Slippery and quick, Jumping and leaping, Snatching small morsels of Sweet distraction. Until sharp hook, Shiny and cruel, Snags my attention, And drags me, struggling Back here—to school. *****copyright james yeager 2004*****

Time is a funny and fickle thing. Take the time since my last post for example; I hadn't realized just how long it had been since then--and that has only been a week! If you look at the comment from the last post, you will find an example of how time catches up with us all. Marianne was a friend of mine when I was 16 years-old, and having heard from her, I realize just how far away, yet so close that time was. It has been nine years since then, and all I can say is wow, my life has really changed since then. So much so that I can't believe it has only been nine years, but simultaneously I can't believe it was almost a decade ago--such a relatively long time that has seemingly flown by in retrospect. Marianne is the only person I have heard from from that group of friends in four years, and that person was Michelle Guidry (Michelle, if you read this, and you probably won't, leave a comment so that I can contact you, and if you know her, tell her about this blog...

It's funny the things you notice when your minds is overwhelmed with crisis. Take last week for exanple... During the course of event surrounding Lesley's health crisis, I kept noticing the strangest, most superficial things. When I was getting ready to visit the hospital, I noticed that it was the shortest time I had spent showering and getting dressed. Later, at the hospital I noticed the patterns of the carpet in the waitin gareas were conducive to pacing. I began an inner debate about whether or not the hospital architects had intended that way so that nervous visitors would have somehting to do by treading the large rectangular pattern on the floor. After we had taken Bekka back to her apartment to change clothes, I noticed a new blink182 CD on their bar next to the empty Target Gift Card holder we had given Lesley for her birthday just two days before. I assumed she had bought the CD with the gift card, though I never confirmed it with Bekka. When I arrived...

If Leeann or Dave should read my blog, I would like to apologize publicly for my scathing remarks. If I had it to do over, I would still have been there for you, Leeann. Furthermore, considering the circumstances, I also understand your state of mind causing you to brain-fart on the whole calling us thing on Friday. However, Dave, I cannot so easily forgive your actions. It is because of your immaturity and blatant lack of concern for how your actions affected those closest to you that the whole situation occurred in the first place. I don't mean to reprimand you in public, but this forum stands just as much of a chance at getting your attention as any other means. Again, I apologize for my words. The week I had put me in a state of mind not conducive for diplomacy--i.e. I was an ass. Forgive me.

Well kids, ain't this been an interesting week? First I spend the first two days of my vacation working 10 and 14 hours laying almost 400 square feet of floor tile at my parents' house. Then, after spending the third day recovering from the first two, on Thursday, after calling Citibank to ask for a $15,000 loan to consolidate our debts (an extremely nerve wracking experience all its own that takes a week to get an answer), we found out about our dear friend Lesley's virus induced heart failure, and instead of spending the day helping Tim take care of Lesley's partner, Bekka (who was so overwrought with concern for Lesley she had hardly eaten, slept, nor showered since noon the previous day), I instead spent the day consoling my other friend, Leeann, because her dickhead boyfriend decided to pull a Houdini on her the day before, when they had made plans, without so much as a phone call and avoided returning anyone's calls until Thursday night, only to have them...

(DISCLAIMER: I was more than just a little drunk and emotionally beat when I wrote this, so my apologies if there are any grammatical or personal offenses contained therein, they were not intentional) Isn't it funny. Life can be going along just fine--you've made plans to see your friends, everything's going fine during spring break--then WHAM , some higher power with a sick and truly twisted sense of humor drops a big old shit bomb on you and turns your life completely upside down in an instant, scaring the hell out of you in more ways than one in the process. This happened to Tim and me this week...actually in the last 12 hours. We have two sets of friends (quite close friends) Leeann and Dave, and Bekka and Lesley, who have each needed us simultaneously today--though for extremely different reasons. Dave (yes, the Dave for whom I posted the birthday wish) completely blew-off Leeann without so much as a phone call to hang out with his friends. Doesn't soun...

Fluttering Heart of Love My heart is but a dove in your hand, Your love’s fruit and seed sustain me, Before you suspect me too soon made glad, (Though in verse this doth sound cheesy), For me never was/will be one before you, I am yours and yours, forever yours alone. Thus in your grasp I contemplate anew, A fluttering contentedness before unknown. For my heart is that dove from adage lore, That fabled bird worth more than two, ‘Twas not because he liked the holding more, For love’s sake, he loved the danger, too. I, like the dove, know this love too well, Know it can warm, can soothe, can crush—can kill. ----------copyright James Yeager----------

I just finished watching 20/20, and John Stossel's segment, " Give Me a Break ," got me to thinking: maybe we are going about this whole gay marriage thing from the wrong angle. It is true that marriage is traditionally a religious institution. It originated through religious ceremony, and only through ancient theocracy did it become presided over by government law. Perhaps then marriage should be divorced (no pun intended) from modern civil law. After all, doesn't the United States Constitution contain an edict asserting the separation of church and state? So how about dissolving marriage as a legal union, and reserve it as a spiritual one. Anyone who wishes to have their relationship recognized legally, whether same or opposite-sex, and receive all the legal benefits of the current civilly codified institution of marriage could then register their couplehood as a civil union. This frees up conservative evangelical churches from the horror of being forced to pe...

Well, I can't say I'm surprised. The California Supreme Court halted the San Francisco gay marry-thon earlier today and will decide on the legality of the 3000+ marriages that have already occurred sometime in May or June. Massachussetts's Senate has passed the first step in amending its state constitution to disallow same-sex marriage, but allow civil unions (hmmm...sounds like the old "seperate but equal" attempt at justice). However, time is on our side, it will be a year before it goes to the voters, and two years before it can go into effect, which might be enough time for those who can get married in the interim that begins May 17 to challenge DOMA in the U.S. Supreme Court--then again, it might not. Bush is beginning to lose the support he had in 2000, and if Kerry teams with Edwards (hint-hint to the Kerry camp), then we might be able to get a sympathetic president, and reclaim the whitehouse in the name of fairness and decency. One thought tha...

I bought my cap, gown, and honors cord today. I decided to get them now and not go with my natural procrastination tendencies, thus avoiding the last minute rush of all the other procrastinators. When I was checking out, the man in line behind me said something that I have been thinking about all day, "That's the best $35 you've ever spent, isn't it?" Yes...maybe. While it certainly did feel good to fork over $35 for the clothing that symbolizes the culmination of all my years of academic work, it somehow felt a little empty, too. So far I have spent about $600 in preparation for "the day," and it makes me think, it would cost about that much to fly to California and get married. However, that is a risky proposition because the legal battle surrounding the San Francisco gay marriages have yet to be settled, and the last time I checked, airfare and the paid-in-advance marriage license fee are non-refundable. Makes it a dangerous investmen...

Here is my latest effort in free form. Streaming I don’t know what to say, words fail to recognize me, sludge filled mind allows no air of inspiration— a pollution filled river choking the fish swimming upstream a waterfall splashing, washes thoughts against the rocks poetic endeavors in revelatory torrents splash, bubble, surface, breathe. Think. The birth of creation suffers the scars of indecision, finds nourishment in hope, laments logical prose, dreams in Technicolor—the nightmares most vivid inspire fervid fear of daylight illuminating fate’s fatal fault lines, which shake loose the foundations of logic’s many leveled houses— believes in beauty, promises perfection—a lie— achieves magnificence, lives with it, Stresses the word “live,” And floats downstream on a raft of content, riding atop the impure turbulence to soak its countenance in warm breezes of thought, water splashing its bubblegum toes. ------------copyright of Jame...

I want to apologize to those of you who use Internet Explorer. The HTML code I used for the main title background color in my previous blog redecoration was not recognized by IE; however, it was recognized by Netscape Navigator, which I use primarily, hence not catching the IE conflict until now. I apologize because the backround color behind my title was supposed to be light gray, but IE doesn't recognizer the HTML code for it, so it made it the same color as the main background (dark blue), which made the dates and the main title hard to read. I have now fixed the code, and you can now see my blog as I had intended for it to appear.

I've decided to copy the essay I composed in response to Bush's February 24th speech endorsing the Federal Marriage Amendment. It originally appeared on my UTA student website . The essay has been getting around; I've gotten responses from Chris Daniels at Berkeley and Amber Rogers in Colorado Springs, as well as other places nationwide. So far, everyone that I've heard from has enthusiastically approved--thank you. I've published my resources at the end. The Changing Definition of Marriage: A Brief History Lesson for President George W To hear President Bush speak, one would assume that the definition of marriage, outside of being the union of a man and a woman, has not changed in “more than two centuries of American jurisprudence, and millennia of human experience.” Quite the contrary; the definition of marriage has changed countless times, evolving to suit social norms and needs throughout the recorded history of western civilization. In fact, the...

I just wanted to let my faithful readers know that, in the course of my blog redecorating, I moved the comment and trackback features to the end of each entry. Also, let me know what you think of the new look!

My friend Leeann left this morning for New York to visit another friend of ours who moved there to pursue her dreams of acting and attending NYU. Unfortunately, Jaclyn's dreams evaporated over the year and a half that she's been there. She is moving back home once her lease ends this spring. I feel quite badly for her, who wouldn't? Who hasn't pursued a dream only to have it fail miserably. I guess that's better than waking up one day at the end of your life to the bitterness of never having tried. Yet somehow that doesn't quite take all of the sting out of the failure. I guess that's why I have been becoming increasingly involved with the fight against little King George the Lesser's homophobic regime. I want to at least be able to say I tried. I know the chances are slim to none that his bile-filled rhetoric will spur his Federal Marriage Amendment on to victory--the support for writing hate and discrimination just isn't there--but...

I wanted to point something out that I thought was...an interesting dichotomy. As I am sure everyone is well aware by now, Martha Stewart was convicted on all four remaining charges on Friday. What I find interesting is that she was found guilty of four charges that were related directly to the main insider trading charge that the judge threw out because there was not enough evidence to support it. Technically, that means that the the original charge doesn't exist--nothing criminal occurred in the eyes of the law. Yet, Stewart was found guilty of conspiracy and obstruction of justice in relation to the crime that the court feels there isn't enough evidence to prove she committed. So basically, she is guilty of conspiracy to commit nothing and obstructing the investigation of the same nothing. Everybody knows she did it, I just wish the court system would recognize the fallacy of its own ruling here and either charge her with everything, or drop the charges for the c...

Well, here I am working today, so no time to post anything interesting. I just wanted to let anyone who might visit know that I now have trackback and comment ability on my blog page, and I added a counter to track how many people aren't looking. I know, I know self deprecation is not amusing. I also know that I am wildly popular...yeah right. Anyway...TTFN

Wow. Gotta love that Texas weather--thunderstorms with softball-sized hail, 70 mph winds, and, that's right, it wouldn't be a Texas spring storm without 'em, tornados!! The first of the season, and it's gonna be a doozy--at about 3:00. But in the mean time, check out the blog of my very own poetry instructor, Chris Murray. Texfiles Expect more posts, including poetry and short stories, if a tornado doesn't blow me into the next state.

I am born. Now on to the business of growing up. This is my first post, the first of many. Welcome to my blog, now bookmark me! I will have many enlightening things to say and complain about in the weeks, months, and years to come. Stay tuned! But in the mean time, check out my college/political activism/biographical website. You know it's funny, up until two months ago I had never heard of "blogs." Now I am inundated with them. It started with visiting my poetry instructor's blog and then I read an interesting "hypothetical blog" in The Advocate that was set in 2008. Then I was introduced to Wil Wheaton's blog . After I had published my webpage on UTA's server, I decided I wanted to publish my own blog since I will lose my school website upon graduation this May. It was so liberating to have a forum for expressing my opinions that I had to continue. And continue I will.