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The Cost of Entering the Main of Public Life

I bought my cap, gown, and honors cord today. I decided to get them now and not go with my natural procrastination tendencies, thus avoiding the last minute rush of all the other procrastinators.

When I was checking out, the man in line behind me said something that I have been thinking about all day, "That's the best $35 you've ever spent, isn't it?"

Yes...maybe. While it certainly did feel good to fork over $35 for the clothing that symbolizes the culmination of all my years of academic work, it somehow felt a little empty, too. So far I have spent about $600 in preparation for "the day," and it makes me think, it would cost about that much to fly to California and get married.

However, that is a risky proposition because the legal battle surrounding the San Francisco gay marriages have yet to be settled, and the last time I checked, airfare and the paid-in-advance marriage license fee are non-refundable. Makes it a dangerous investment considering that, anytime between now and the next available time to get a marriage license (end of April), the courts could shut the whole operation down. So I start to wonder about the other precious few alternative venues: Oregon, Seattle, and (as of May 17) Massachussetts. However, they have their own pitfalls.

As in CA, Oregon and Washington are still politically up in the air, and Massachusetts has a 72 hour waiting period in addition to blood test requirements, which translates to a three to four day stay, adding up the cost of hotel fare. Faced with the uncertainty and insurmountable costs, I start to develop a "wait and see" attitude to the whole issue, and realize I am slipping into a dangerous laissez faire mindset.

For, if I become complacent about the whole issue because it is too much of a hassle to think about acting on, others could as well. Then the movement slows, loses momentum, and eventually stalls, allowing religous-zealot, right wing conservatives the "in" of nonresistence, sealing their victory and making us second-class citizens with civil rights that are mutable to the extreme.

So I am going to continue to plan, watch the events unfold and the daily changes and challenges that are occurring, and count on flying somewhere soon with Tim, so that we can put on paper what we have so far proven over the last six years, and proclaim to the nation--to the world--our love and commitment for each other. Whatever it costs, it will truly be the best money I have ever spent.

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UPDATE TO PREVIOUS POST

Tim's flight went smoothly and he is now in Arkansas. My day feels hollow without being able to IM him. Still no word on exactly when he'll be back--either Friday night or Saturday morning/afternoon. Oh, and add that supreme bitch, Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) to the list of modern-era senators refusing to cosponser the anti-lynching measure. I have also added her to my litany of reasons for truly despising this fucktard state in which I live. MEMO TO THE GOP: Your true (lack of) colors are showing. Smarmy sanctimonious bastards.