Modern Lives

A big bloggy welcome to Megan, the latest to succumb to blogging peer pressure and a serious case of Blogis Envy. Heehee, now my commenting minion s , go get her!!! Cheers-Thanksalot!

Underwater, shedding skin swirling thoughts bubble to confusious beats tears and wailing of trouble and troubadours singing blood red fear crusading for lies and truth be told covers my eyes that seeing in front of me for what's in front of me obscurred by fear and pain keeps me alive gives chest-swelling breath strength courage to maintain the struggle for sunlight open air and freedom to live. That hope is dead when Love keeps fighting.

cruel whore of Irony posit your wares of iniquity on the poor and unworthy, Destroyer of dreams feeding with spoons and needles our addiction to hope. You leave us empty, drinking the putrid womb-juice eating the fetid afterbirth of your aborted bastard child, Ennui. Everyday is exactly the same evil enjoys love good suffers indifference once I had a voice now I rarely make a sound Everyday is exactly the same slowly poisoning ourselves longing to forget what we have already forgotten emptiness replaces pain maybe once I had a purpose-- then again, that might have been a dream leaves hope for release will never come.

I wish God were alive to see this. --Homer J. Simpson Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord? Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. [Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands] Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious. -- The Simpsons [. . .] What do you do when your stuck in a chair? Finding it hard to go up and down stairs What do you think of the one you call god? Isn't his absence slightly odd? Maybe he's forgotten you [. . .] --Chumba Wumba Song, Family Guy [. . .] the clouds will part and the sky cracks open and god himself will reach his fucking arm through just to push you down just to hold you down [. . .] [. . .] your god is dead and no one cares [. . .] --"The Wretched" and "Heresy", Nine Inch Nails Feel free to post any of your favorite funny/sacriligious/angry god or jebus quotes in comments. Cheers-Thanks-a lot!

. . . and then you die. If you're as lucky as I am, you find someone special with whom to share in the misery, which makes it at least bearable. Oh you thing called "Life," why do I hate thee at times? James' Life Sucks Top Ten List #10: You suck #9: You have death as a part of you #8: You let Ass-Monkeys get away with bloody murder #7: False hope #6: You give decent people who just want to get through you with as little resistence as possible a nice big Ass-hat to wear, whether we like it or not #5: Your Ass-hats are magnets for Ass-Monkeys and shit #4: Taxes, fees, fines and penalties #3: You're totally unforgiving #2: You conspire with your buddy, Time, to really make things difficult And the Number One reason I hate you at times . . . . You suck! And a note for the Ass-Monkeys of the City of Irving : You suck, I hate you, and I'm glad you're losing the Cowboys! I wish I believed in "God" . . . then I would ...

Time for a tale of terror and creepiness so foul it will leave your soul frozen in trepidation. Turn out the lights, bar the doors, and make sure your windows are locked. For after this tale, you will never feel safe again. Mwaha- Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!! It was Saturday night and Tim and I had just finished enjoying the thrilling scariness of Wes Craven's werewolf movie, Cursed . It was a good movie, witty, smart, and at times, quite frightening. But this, children, is not the center of my terrifying story. Oh no, there's more. Come, lets move to the balcony to discuss it further . . . Tim and I sat on the balcony discussing the movie, I in my usual chair in front of the closet, and Tim in his usual chair next to the pond. The night was quiet, warm, and balmy with the occasional cricket chirp and the steady drone of air conditioning units the only sound, save the occassional car driving by on the nearly abandoned road. As we were debating the finer points of succ...

Timmy J. Studios is pleased to announce the launch of its newest designer label , cats have issues Celebrating the darker side of life with our feline compadres. Surf on over and check it out !

UPDATE: 10:50 AM CDT, Death toll now at 33, not counting the unknown number of people who died in the bus explosion. The Severely injured number has topped 345 and continues to grow. At 9:20 AM London Time, just as the morning commuter rush was entering its peak, four explosions tore through three London Underground stations and one double-decker bus in London's financial district. Reports are still coming in, but so far London authorities have confirmed two dead and estimated as many as 150 seriously wounded. The central London transit system has been completely shut down. Before heading straight back to London from the G8 Summit in Gleneagles, P. M. Tony Blair et al stated the obvious that this was indeed a terrorist attack. Our hearts, empathies, and sympathies go out to everyone affected by this tragedy. This brings the total number of high profile attacks on Western countries to three. September 11, 2001 in New York. March 11, 2004 in Madrid, Spain. July 7, 2005 in London. M...

Hope everyone had a great Fourth of July Weekend, I know I did. Thanks you everyone who came to my birthday swoiree on Friday and thank you for all the thoughtful gifts. I most of all, Thank You, Tim, for masterminding the whole thing. We also had a great time blowing shit up at the Paintiff's Sunday night. Heheheheheheheheheheh FIRE!! Sorry, the Beavis in me gets excited about burning things. Anyway, on to some rather interesting developments that occurred on the Fourth o'July. NASA successfully not the crap out of a comet--literally. The "Deep Impact" project was a complete success and NASA now knows more about what comet nuclei look like and of what materials they consist. It was quite a spectactular event in any case as the picture below indicates: HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHEHEHEHEH YEAH, BOOM, YEAH YEAH, BLOW IT UP!!!! Sorry again. See more images here . Another spectacular event that took place on the Fourth besides comet-crashing, was the United Church of Chris...

OK, first I would like to apologize for losing it earlier. I have gotten the funds for gas, the A/C started working a couple of hours ago, it rained, and I am feeling much better now. Thank you to everyone who sent me good mojo and well-wishes. Don't forget, New Yorker Pizza and Pasta tonight at 7 PM for my birthday . If I know you and we're friends, you're invited. But don't come empty handed or I will pretend I don't know you and have Tim remove you from the premises. Forcefully, if necessary. Just Kidding. But seriously, buy me things . I am now signing off for the weekend. Have a great Fourth. Cheers-Thanks-Alot!

Sandra Day O'Conner, moderate Repulican U. S. Supreme Court Justice, announced her retirement today. She was a pivotal swing voter in many cases, especially cases involving civil rights and liberties. You know Bush will put a wingnut theocrat in there. I don't see the weak-kneed democrats stopping him, quite frankly. It's over. Next year there will be no more checks and balances as the Theocrats will control all three branches of the federal government and legislate from their precious fucking fucked-up Xtian Bible. I mourn for America because the America I knew is now officially dead.

Happy fucking birthday to me. We all have bad days, but why does mine have to be on my birthday? Of all the days that could have turned out to be utter crap, why today?? I'll tell you why: the universe has decided that I can't get a goddamn break. Ever. Let me give you a recap of my day thus far, even if it is only two hours old. 6:10 - The cats harass me the second I get out of the shower wanting to be fed. 6:50 - I run REALLY late this morning, but still somehow manage to get out the door only 10 minutes behind schedule. 6:55 - I'm in the car and realize, oh gee, I may not have enough gas to get to work and back, but I'll have to get it on the way home because I don't have time right now. 7:05 - (ten minutes before I'm due at work) I'm almost to Irving and come to the sudden and horrific realization that (A) I don't have enough gas to get home after work without stopping, and (B) joy of fucking joys, I forgot my wallet and I don't hav...

Or at least its on the road . . . Hot off the wires , Spain has just legalized same-sex marriage, adoption, and inheritence rights--nationwide. Holy shit. No wonder traditional WASP Capitalists here are so threatened by Socialists; they actually get things done and the modern Socialists are true equalists (I know that's not a real word, but it works). I think Spain's prime minister said it best: We were not the first, but I am sure we will not be the last. After us will come many other countries, driven, ladies and gentlemen, by two unstoppable forces: freedom and equality. No wonder Bush is nervous about gay equality. It's spreading faster than his so-called brand of freedom, which, let's face it, is merely the freedom to agree with him, his ilk, and their theology. Vaya España!! ¡Salud-Muchas-Gracias!

It's sweltering outside and the world sux. Details to follow . . . Bush gave a speech last night in a feeble attempt to rally public support for his failing presidential policies and desert-Vietnam. He postitulatered mostly on 9/11, evoking its memory at least 5 times throughout his speech, but he forgot to mention how the hunt for Osama bin Forgotten was going. I'm sure he's right on top of that. Or maybe he's a bottom? Certainly would explain Karl Rove's position. Oh, and would sombody please tell Furious George that Iraq had no connection to 9/11? But I digress. Bush also mentioned something about sending more troops if his commanders on the ground say they need them. Whew, getting drafty in here, or is it just me? The military applause ordered by Bush's advance team was an especially nice touch. Can't rely on the military to applaud him voluntarily, now can we. No, mustn't leave the preznit hanging on his punchlines, that would be rude. Anyway, that...

Today marks Tim's and my 7th anniversary. I got to thinking about it yesterday, marveling at that number 7. 7 years. It's hard to believe it's been that long and it's hard to belive it hasn't been longer. I feel like I've known and loved Tim for all my life. Yet, it didn't start until 1998, a rather uneventful summer when Clinton was still president, dot-coms were booming, the towers still stood, and gas was about a buck a gallon. Madonna had released Ray of Light that year, an album which I discovered around the time another ray of light entered my life--Tim. Feel like wretching yet? Wait, there's more. Much like Madonna had done with that album, I too was on a quest to kind of reinvent myself and Tim came along at the perfect time. After a turbulent time in my life, I had moved to a new city, started a new job, started to try and make new friends, and started to live again. It took about two months before I was ready to want to share my life with so...

In honor of the insanity that is the union between Tom Cruise (Psycho cradle-robber much?) and Katie Holmes (Hello? Anybody holme?), Timmy J. Studios has launched a new product line: Katydid Tom Tom ! There you'll find items for all events--indecent proposals in Paris, caped-crusader premieres in New York, and even London reporters who are all wet! Coming soon: Katydid Tom Tom Intersteller Line !! If you can't afford your own planet, wear one! So surf on over and check it out and while you're there, might as well buy something so it's not a wasted trip. Katydid Tom Tom The Webstore

Today's opening day for the long awaited and much anticipated fourth installment in George Romero's infamous zombie serial,with the release of Land of the Dead . The reviews are in and so far, the movie appears to live up to, if not exceed Romero's formidable reputation as a master B-horror-filmmaker. One of the enormous pleasures of genre filmmaking is watching great directors push against form and predictability, as Mr. Romero does brilliantly in "Land of the Dead." One thing is for sure: You won't go home hungry. [. . .] It has extremely intense zombie violence with the usual buckets of blood. -- New York Times The godfather of the modern zombie flick shows us how it's done right: With fleet pacing, well-timed shocks and a stealthy satiric edge. [. . .] the work of a master. -- New York Newsday Zombies of the world unite! [. . .] You have nothing to lose but your . . . toes, spines, and heads. -- Toledo Blade Mr. Romero [. . . is]...

. . . until my birthday , so if you haven't already, better get to shopping !! It's Friday, July 1st , with dinner at New Yorker and everyone's invited! (Unless you're on my Sh!t L!st, then it's best if you stay in another zip code) Please buy me things . . .

UPDATE: As I published this post, I discovered that the White House issued a statement concerning Rove and the Democratic outcry for an apology or resignation, and a repudiation from Bush. Officially, the White House stands by Rove's remarks. All right. It's on now. No more Mr. Nice Liberal. Impeach this ass-monkey. And if you voted for this Ass-hat idiot son of an asshole twice, I've got a can of rhetorical whoop-ass with your name written all over it. The man must go. Last night in New York, Rove said at a news conference that liberals "don't get 9-11" and don't see the attacks as "savage": Liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers," Rove said. "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 and the attacks and prepared for war.... Conservatives saw what happened to us on 9/11 and said we will defeat our enemies. Liberals saw what happened to us and...

You've made my Shit List. Per their win-a-wedding contest rules: PLEASE NOTE: This opportunity is open only to currently engaged couples consisting of a male and a female , who are legal residents of the United States currently residing in the continental United States, each of whom is at least 21 years of age as of June 13, 2005 and each of whom complies with the additional requirements set forth in these Rules. Like Aravosis said over at AMERICAblog , kinda makes you wonder about Kojo's termination. So screw you Matt and Katie. I never liked Katie's hair and speaking of . . . Matt, YOU'RE BALD! Give it up already. And Al . . . you're still fat . Bitches and Assholes.