Modern Lives

. . . but I have to say it even though I know I am going to catch flack for it. I don't care, bring it on. Something hit me this evening, and it occurred when I had what I believe is very possibly the last conversation I'll ever have with a quasi-old friend who is currently residing in Australia. We were having a very pleasant conversation via AOL-IM, discussing school, careers, etc. Then the conversation turned to politics and I understand why Tim doesn't approve of political discussion with friends, especially nowadays. He told me he was "pro-Bush" and I responded with "I have to go now". I was actually half-kidding, but when he replied "ok, bye", I realized I shouldn't have been. Maybe it was because I am exhausted from trying to change people's minds, or maybe I'm just tired of the whole election thing, period. However, at that moment I discovered a flaw in that friendship so big that it made maintaining the friendshi...

. . . are all Bush needs at Camp David. 30 Pairs of Presidential Flip-Flops and Waffles with Extra Syrup Anyone Got a Mirror? Happy reading!

I think even He Who Must Not Be Named would be the lesser of the two Republican evils. He , at least, makes no pretense about not being evil. I think the Dark Lord is rather befitting as a figurehead for that party.

This is un-freakin-believable: WASHINGTON - Two of the Sept. 11, 2001, hijackers had a support network in the United States that included agents of the Saudi government, and the Bush administration and FBI blocked a congressional investigation into that relationship, Sen. Bob Graham wrote in a book to be released Tuesday. Although, I must say it is also pretty typical of the Dick&Bush Cartel, which seems to have a history of un-freakin-believably audacious acts of power abuse and corruption.

Okay, so I didn't blog throughout all of August. I guess I kinda needed a break from it. For those not in the know, job-hunting still at a dead-end, novel finished and in its second working draft, prezzy race still too close to call (unfortunately), and I'm not starting grad school this fall. Actually, now that I think about it, it wasn't so much I needed a break from blogging. After reading back over that list, I realize I haven't written anything in over a month because I didn't have anything new to say--I'm still jobless, out of school, and worried about the future of our nation. See, nothing new. On that note, I should like to say that maybe things will change over the next few weeks. I would say more, but that information is classified . . . for now. However, I can say that I am rather happy with my novel and the two people who I have had immediate feedback from seem to be enjoying it so far (we're only halfway through the first reading). Unfortunately,...

Well, this certainly has been a great week for John Kerry and the Democratic Party. Stirring, thought-provoking speeches from the fresh up-and-comer Barack Obama and the formidible and passionate Rev. Al Sharpton really emphasized the DNC's new strategy of unity and optimism over fear and divisiveness. Sen. John Edwards furthered this plan of action last night with his own speech of the "two Americas" needing a reunion over common goals and values. Sen. John Kerry crowned this week-long demonstration with his own stirring speech that succinctly outlined his plan for America while ascertaining his ability to lead this country to a stronger national identity as well as a restoring its credibility in the global community through hard work, integrity, and unison & pride among its own citizens. Outside respect can only occur once we can respect ourselves and each other here at home. Only when we can look our collective self in the mirror with pride and self-assuredness ca...

Remember the website I created on UTA's server last spring? Apparently it's still there, and it has been generating some interesting responses. While most have been overwhelmingly supportive, three have been . . . well, lets just say less than supportive. Another fascinating facet to those three e-mails is the fact that they came from a military installation. Yes, you read that correctly, an officer of the United States Military has taken time to tell me just how sick and wrong I am. Hmmm, I wonder at this juncture, when public support of the military is so crucial regardless of one's stand on the war itself or its Commander in Chief, if the military could stand the possibly negative publicity that could be generated by the conduct of two of its officers? Well, here goes nothing . . . I decided to post the e-mails I have received concerning my website, both positive and negative. Unfortunately, the first two e-mails I received from a Defense Logisitics Agency of...

Good news! I have officially completed 100 pages of my young-adult novel. I'm in the middle of chapter nine, and I am really excited with the novel's progress on a whole. Okay, enough cheese. I just wanted to share that. Ciao.

I know I haven't posted any poems in awhile, so here is one that seems befitting. Indifference in Deference When wizened men have stooped to folly, She slithers in for the conquest— Indifference, whore of ennui , Let us care naught, Let us dare not, When the whole world has all come undone. She quiets down our hearts—unloving, She stoppers our heads—unknowing, She binds up our hands—undoing, Leaving us cold and unfeeling, Contented in all our discontent. Indifference, sweet Indifference, You are the perfect addiction: Your rusting needle rips my vein, Doing nothing is such a high, Everything is your only cost. Indifference, sweet indifference, Sleep now in your bedded wasteland, Let not lament disturb your rest. Our voices grown faint in t...

Okay, I've decided to start posting a little weekly segment I like to call Discrepancies , in which I will explore those obscure little things in life that just don't make sense. You know the type; those things that happen to catch your attention every now and then that make go, "hmmm, I wonder what that's all about," then you go on about your business and never really give it a second thought. Well guess what, I am going to talk about those things once a week. I may not have answers for them, but feel free to take it upon yourself to research them and leave a comment. Disclaimer : I hold no responsibility for people who take it upon themselves to find answers to my esoteric postulations. If you feel you are taking up too much of your own precious time trying to resolve one of these mysteries, that's your problem. Get a life. These posts (and by "these" I of course mean Discrepancies , the rest of my posts are of course to be held in the highes...

Sorry, Dave. I guess I had remembered the wrong address for your blog, so thank you for clearing that up for me. The link to Dave's Monkey Boy blog is in the list on the right, as is Rene's My Random Mind . A big welcome to Rene!

Okay, this time I promise to wait at least a year before renovating my blog again.  But you have to admit, it's more colorful and stylish now.

I wanted to give a shout out to Angel and Dave, two good friends who have now crossed over to the blog-side: WELCOME! Although Dave has yet to give me his blog's address ( hint-hint ), I have put a link to Angel's It's All Sex, Drugs, and Butterbeer!! to the right. And a big WOW for the new post formatting options. Go Blogger! As soon as I can get Hello! to work, I think I might just add some pictures. :)

Yay! Happy day! My inability to write has lifted and I am happy to say that my young-adult novel is back in progress and almost halfway finished. I'll keep y'all posted on its development.

Ha ha! Take that Bushy! You have been DENIED! I guess everyone probably already knows that Bush's pet amendment designed to relegate gays and lesbians to permanent second-class citizenship has failed to pass in the senate by 12 votes, a lot of which were republicans who opposed the amendment from its inception. How's this for political irony: not only is Dick Cheney's daughter a lesbian (whose opinion concerning the amendment was silenced to the tune of a $100,000/year salary to run her father's re-election campaign), his wife publicly opposed the discriminatory amendment. I wonder what shameless political posture Bush will take next as he cows to the fascist, ultra-conservative, archaically religious, right-wing agenda? So much for "compassionate conservatism"... Read my lips: like father like son.

I have renovated my blog again! I added a links section and moved the counter to the column on the right>>>> I also cleaned up the title. The flags were fun, but I think less is more. Anyway, have a fun Fourth of July weekend, everyone!

It's ironic that we call even our secular government days of remembrance "holidays" when you consider the origin of the word "holiday" is the "Old English hāligdæg, 'holy day'" (OED), a day traditionally set aside for work-free, religious-themed worship or celebration. Now, I am all for religious freedom, but I don't think religion should have the freedom to enter into politics. Apparently, our forefathers felt the same way because, as we all know, while they were writing freedom of religious choice into the Constitution, they also wrote a little clause clearly defining the seperation of church and state. Afterall, we are a democracy, not a theocracy, right? So then why has our president, a man who swore an oath before the entire country, world, and whatever deity you worship, to uphold the spirit and letter of the Constitution of the United States of America, reportedly asked the Pope, leader of the Catholic Religion, to instruct his Ameri...

I didn't realize how long I have been neglecting my poor blog until today. I am a bad, bad blogger. Anyway... So here's what's happened since my last entry: -Job-hunting -Tim and I celebrated our 6th anniversary -Job-hunting -Turned a whole year older and, in so doing, realized I am now closer to 30 than 20 -Job-hunting -Found an old friend (well, she found me actually) -Job-hunting -Steadily going stir crazy from a severe lack of anything constructive to do -and did I mention job-hunting? I heard the job market sucks, but jesus-christ-monkey-balls, it really sucks--especially if you have just graduated with an English degree. But I may have a good solid lead; I'll say more about that on Tuesday (I don't want to jinx it). and now a shout out to my girl Michelle... hey there. I have called you and e-mailed you now, so you better get back to me. So...um...yeah... I haven't any new poetry, so I will now post somethi...

My first poetry submission was rejected by znine online magazine. Go me, my own alma mater rejected my work. It was probably too progressive for them. At least I was valedictorian of the Enlish department--did I forget to mention that earlier?

I saw this on Chris Murray's Texfiles , and thought it was fun, so here is my posting of it. Follow the link to Chris' blog to find her link to the game's original source. The Game 1. Grab the nearest book. 2. Open the book to page 23. 3. Find the fifth sentence. 4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions. Text: "Already he was thinking of what to do with his new find." Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park

I know my posts have been few and far between over the past couple of weeks. I'm nearing the end of my final semester as an undergrad and all those final projects that are due over the next four weeks have been keeping me on my toes. As Dolly Parton would say, "I've been busier than a one legged man in a butt-kickin' contest!" Here is another poem to sate your prosal appetites for a little while longer. ciao. The Farmer’s Wife That reminds me, I checked out this Othello play out of the library. It’s about a guy who loses his reputation and his wife, well, he kills her, but she made him. - Ai, “Penis Envy” from Vice: New and Selected Poems I don’t even recognize my hand holdin’ onto the axe swingin’ at your head, splittin’ it liked warmed fat. Don’t want to need you no more. Didn’t want it to come to this, you’ve told me for twenty years, “Baby, I love you. I don’t like hittin’ you, but you make me do it, sometimes you ma...

Hey my loyal reader(s), sorry it's been so long since my last post. Life, as they say, happens and I haven't had time to do much of anything aside from work, classes, homework, and more homework. Anyway, I promise to try not being so remiss about my posting in the future. I have posted a poem just below this for your viewing pleasure. Ciao.

It’s BOREDOM. Tears have glued is eyes together. You know it well, my Reader. This obscene Beast chain-smokes yawning for the guillotine— You—hypocrite Reader—my double—my brother! —Charles Baudelaire, “To the Reader,” from The Flowers of Evil Sitting quiet in my discontent, Restless, wound-up—pent. I scream in the loudest Silence. I disappear, Swallowed by want of escape. Implode—explode SOME mode different than this Static state. Indifference, my friend—my captor— Hears my scream, lies Makes for me a gossamer bed of Nothing. I lie in it, sinking down down down The softest down… Lull to sleep passions, Sedate ambitions, Mute desires, Paralyzed mind. I watch the world through a dream, cloudy, distant, disconnected dream. A dream where I, apparitional, observe, Resigned to my isolation, unable to partake. Aching the sweetest saddest ache— That part in me still aware— Objecting, rejecting my new-found fate. “Hush now, don’t cry. Sssshhhh...

Those of you experiencing the same senioritis I am should appreciate/identify with this one. Class Can’t focus Mind is reeling… Here we go, Another class discussion I know nothing about. Time to sound elegant, Oh so intelligent While my mind swims Off like a trout. Slippery and quick, Jumping and leaping, Snatching small morsels of Sweet distraction. Until sharp hook, Shiny and cruel, Snags my attention, And drags me, struggling Back here—to school. *****copyright james yeager 2004*****

Time is a funny and fickle thing. Take the time since my last post for example; I hadn't realized just how long it had been since then--and that has only been a week! If you look at the comment from the last post, you will find an example of how time catches up with us all. Marianne was a friend of mine when I was 16 years-old, and having heard from her, I realize just how far away, yet so close that time was. It has been nine years since then, and all I can say is wow, my life has really changed since then. So much so that I can't believe it has only been nine years, but simultaneously I can't believe it was almost a decade ago--such a relatively long time that has seemingly flown by in retrospect. Marianne is the only person I have heard from from that group of friends in four years, and that person was Michelle Guidry (Michelle, if you read this, and you probably won't, leave a comment so that I can contact you, and if you know her, tell her about this blog...

It's funny the things you notice when your minds is overwhelmed with crisis. Take last week for exanple... During the course of event surrounding Lesley's health crisis, I kept noticing the strangest, most superficial things. When I was getting ready to visit the hospital, I noticed that it was the shortest time I had spent showering and getting dressed. Later, at the hospital I noticed the patterns of the carpet in the waitin gareas were conducive to pacing. I began an inner debate about whether or not the hospital architects had intended that way so that nervous visitors would have somehting to do by treading the large rectangular pattern on the floor. After we had taken Bekka back to her apartment to change clothes, I noticed a new blink182 CD on their bar next to the empty Target Gift Card holder we had given Lesley for her birthday just two days before. I assumed she had bought the CD with the gift card, though I never confirmed it with Bekka. When I arrived...

If Leeann or Dave should read my blog, I would like to apologize publicly for my scathing remarks. If I had it to do over, I would still have been there for you, Leeann. Furthermore, considering the circumstances, I also understand your state of mind causing you to brain-fart on the whole calling us thing on Friday. However, Dave, I cannot so easily forgive your actions. It is because of your immaturity and blatant lack of concern for how your actions affected those closest to you that the whole situation occurred in the first place. I don't mean to reprimand you in public, but this forum stands just as much of a chance at getting your attention as any other means. Again, I apologize for my words. The week I had put me in a state of mind not conducive for diplomacy--i.e. I was an ass. Forgive me.

Well kids, ain't this been an interesting week? First I spend the first two days of my vacation working 10 and 14 hours laying almost 400 square feet of floor tile at my parents' house. Then, after spending the third day recovering from the first two, on Thursday, after calling Citibank to ask for a $15,000 loan to consolidate our debts (an extremely nerve wracking experience all its own that takes a week to get an answer), we found out about our dear friend Lesley's virus induced heart failure, and instead of spending the day helping Tim take care of Lesley's partner, Bekka (who was so overwrought with concern for Lesley she had hardly eaten, slept, nor showered since noon the previous day), I instead spent the day consoling my other friend, Leeann, because her dickhead boyfriend decided to pull a Houdini on her the day before, when they had made plans, without so much as a phone call and avoided returning anyone's calls until Thursday night, only to have them...

(DISCLAIMER: I was more than just a little drunk and emotionally beat when I wrote this, so my apologies if there are any grammatical or personal offenses contained therein, they were not intentional) Isn't it funny. Life can be going along just fine--you've made plans to see your friends, everything's going fine during spring break--then WHAM , some higher power with a sick and truly twisted sense of humor drops a big old shit bomb on you and turns your life completely upside down in an instant, scaring the hell out of you in more ways than one in the process. This happened to Tim and me this week...actually in the last 12 hours. We have two sets of friends (quite close friends) Leeann and Dave, and Bekka and Lesley, who have each needed us simultaneously today--though for extremely different reasons. Dave (yes, the Dave for whom I posted the birthday wish) completely blew-off Leeann without so much as a phone call to hang out with his friends. Doesn't soun...

Fluttering Heart of Love My heart is but a dove in your hand, Your love’s fruit and seed sustain me, Before you suspect me too soon made glad, (Though in verse this doth sound cheesy), For me never was/will be one before you, I am yours and yours, forever yours alone. Thus in your grasp I contemplate anew, A fluttering contentedness before unknown. For my heart is that dove from adage lore, That fabled bird worth more than two, ‘Twas not because he liked the holding more, For love’s sake, he loved the danger, too. I, like the dove, know this love too well, Know it can warm, can soothe, can crush—can kill. ----------copyright James Yeager----------

I just finished watching 20/20, and John Stossel's segment, " Give Me a Break ," got me to thinking: maybe we are going about this whole gay marriage thing from the wrong angle. It is true that marriage is traditionally a religious institution. It originated through religious ceremony, and only through ancient theocracy did it become presided over by government law. Perhaps then marriage should be divorced (no pun intended) from modern civil law. After all, doesn't the United States Constitution contain an edict asserting the separation of church and state? So how about dissolving marriage as a legal union, and reserve it as a spiritual one. Anyone who wishes to have their relationship recognized legally, whether same or opposite-sex, and receive all the legal benefits of the current civilly codified institution of marriage could then register their couplehood as a civil union. This frees up conservative evangelical churches from the horror of being forced to pe...

Well, I can't say I'm surprised. The California Supreme Court halted the San Francisco gay marry-thon earlier today and will decide on the legality of the 3000+ marriages that have already occurred sometime in May or June. Massachussetts's Senate has passed the first step in amending its state constitution to disallow same-sex marriage, but allow civil unions (hmmm...sounds like the old "seperate but equal" attempt at justice). However, time is on our side, it will be a year before it goes to the voters, and two years before it can go into effect, which might be enough time for those who can get married in the interim that begins May 17 to challenge DOMA in the U.S. Supreme Court--then again, it might not. Bush is beginning to lose the support he had in 2000, and if Kerry teams with Edwards (hint-hint to the Kerry camp), then we might be able to get a sympathetic president, and reclaim the whitehouse in the name of fairness and decency. One thought tha...

I bought my cap, gown, and honors cord today. I decided to get them now and not go with my natural procrastination tendencies, thus avoiding the last minute rush of all the other procrastinators. When I was checking out, the man in line behind me said something that I have been thinking about all day, "That's the best $35 you've ever spent, isn't it?" Yes...maybe. While it certainly did feel good to fork over $35 for the clothing that symbolizes the culmination of all my years of academic work, it somehow felt a little empty, too. So far I have spent about $600 in preparation for "the day," and it makes me think, it would cost about that much to fly to California and get married. However, that is a risky proposition because the legal battle surrounding the San Francisco gay marriages have yet to be settled, and the last time I checked, airfare and the paid-in-advance marriage license fee are non-refundable. Makes it a dangerous investmen...

Here is my latest effort in free form. Streaming I don’t know what to say, words fail to recognize me, sludge filled mind allows no air of inspiration— a pollution filled river choking the fish swimming upstream a waterfall splashing, washes thoughts against the rocks poetic endeavors in revelatory torrents splash, bubble, surface, breathe. Think. The birth of creation suffers the scars of indecision, finds nourishment in hope, laments logical prose, dreams in Technicolor—the nightmares most vivid inspire fervid fear of daylight illuminating fate’s fatal fault lines, which shake loose the foundations of logic’s many leveled houses— believes in beauty, promises perfection—a lie— achieves magnificence, lives with it, Stresses the word “live,” And floats downstream on a raft of content, riding atop the impure turbulence to soak its countenance in warm breezes of thought, water splashing its bubblegum toes. ------------copyright of Jame...

I want to apologize to those of you who use Internet Explorer. The HTML code I used for the main title background color in my previous blog redecoration was not recognized by IE; however, it was recognized by Netscape Navigator, which I use primarily, hence not catching the IE conflict until now. I apologize because the backround color behind my title was supposed to be light gray, but IE doesn't recognizer the HTML code for it, so it made it the same color as the main background (dark blue), which made the dates and the main title hard to read. I have now fixed the code, and you can now see my blog as I had intended for it to appear.

I've decided to copy the essay I composed in response to Bush's February 24th speech endorsing the Federal Marriage Amendment. It originally appeared on my UTA student website . The essay has been getting around; I've gotten responses from Chris Daniels at Berkeley and Amber Rogers in Colorado Springs, as well as other places nationwide. So far, everyone that I've heard from has enthusiastically approved--thank you. I've published my resources at the end. The Changing Definition of Marriage: A Brief History Lesson for President George W To hear President Bush speak, one would assume that the definition of marriage, outside of being the union of a man and a woman, has not changed in “more than two centuries of American jurisprudence, and millennia of human experience.” Quite the contrary; the definition of marriage has changed countless times, evolving to suit social norms and needs throughout the recorded history of western civilization. In fact, the...

I just wanted to let my faithful readers know that, in the course of my blog redecorating, I moved the comment and trackback features to the end of each entry. Also, let me know what you think of the new look!

My friend Leeann left this morning for New York to visit another friend of ours who moved there to pursue her dreams of acting and attending NYU. Unfortunately, Jaclyn's dreams evaporated over the year and a half that she's been there. She is moving back home once her lease ends this spring. I feel quite badly for her, who wouldn't? Who hasn't pursued a dream only to have it fail miserably. I guess that's better than waking up one day at the end of your life to the bitterness of never having tried. Yet somehow that doesn't quite take all of the sting out of the failure. I guess that's why I have been becoming increasingly involved with the fight against little King George the Lesser's homophobic regime. I want to at least be able to say I tried. I know the chances are slim to none that his bile-filled rhetoric will spur his Federal Marriage Amendment on to victory--the support for writing hate and discrimination just isn't there--but...

I wanted to point something out that I thought was...an interesting dichotomy. As I am sure everyone is well aware by now, Martha Stewart was convicted on all four remaining charges on Friday. What I find interesting is that she was found guilty of four charges that were related directly to the main insider trading charge that the judge threw out because there was not enough evidence to support it. Technically, that means that the the original charge doesn't exist--nothing criminal occurred in the eyes of the law. Yet, Stewart was found guilty of conspiracy and obstruction of justice in relation to the crime that the court feels there isn't enough evidence to prove she committed. So basically, she is guilty of conspiracy to commit nothing and obstructing the investigation of the same nothing. Everybody knows she did it, I just wish the court system would recognize the fallacy of its own ruling here and either charge her with everything, or drop the charges for the c...

Well, here I am working today, so no time to post anything interesting. I just wanted to let anyone who might visit know that I now have trackback and comment ability on my blog page, and I added a counter to track how many people aren't looking. I know, I know self deprecation is not amusing. I also know that I am wildly popular...yeah right. Anyway...TTFN

Wow. Gotta love that Texas weather--thunderstorms with softball-sized hail, 70 mph winds, and, that's right, it wouldn't be a Texas spring storm without 'em, tornados!! The first of the season, and it's gonna be a doozy--at about 3:00. But in the mean time, check out the blog of my very own poetry instructor, Chris Murray. Texfiles Expect more posts, including poetry and short stories, if a tornado doesn't blow me into the next state.

I am born. Now on to the business of growing up. This is my first post, the first of many. Welcome to my blog, now bookmark me! I will have many enlightening things to say and complain about in the weeks, months, and years to come. Stay tuned! But in the mean time, check out my college/political activism/biographical website. You know it's funny, up until two months ago I had never heard of "blogs." Now I am inundated with them. It started with visiting my poetry instructor's blog and then I read an interesting "hypothetical blog" in The Advocate that was set in 2008. Then I was introduced to Wil Wheaton's blog . After I had published my webpage on UTA's server, I decided I wanted to publish my own blog since I will lose my school website upon graduation this May. It was so liberating to have a forum for expressing my opinions that I had to continue. And continue I will.